A fact that Indian males are seeking aesthetic treatments which go beyond the mani-pedi routine that you would get done at Sorbet Man.
But now here is a reveal of bizarre cosmetic treatments they’re actually signing up for; some of the services include injecting Botox into their armpits, butts, and their palms, blood-curdling ‘Vampire Facials’.
Botox shots for excessive sweating
Hyperhidrosis or excessive sweating affect 2.5 per cent to 3 per cent of the population in India and can cause a real crisis of confidence. Whatever your reasons for excessive sweating are, Botox is your secret weapon to avoid looking like a mess in your next boardroom meeting. The procedure uses Botox to paralyse sweat glands in problem areas like palms, armpits and soles of the feet.
Pros: No more ‘swass’ AKA sweaty ass. And pit stains.
Cons: Compensatory sweating in other areas of the body.
Brazilian Laser Hair Removal
If Indian men aren’t transplanting hair follicles, they’re lasering it off their chest and armpits… even their ball-sacks.
The Brazilian laser hair removal eliminates allthe hair on your member — the shaft and base of the penis, the testicles, perineum and the mangrove between your ass cheeks. The laser targets the pigment melanin, penetrates into the hair shaft, heats the follicles to stop it from functioning and prevents further re-growth.
Pro: Silky-smooth balls
Cons: A NARB, otherwise known as ‘No Apparent Reason Boner.‘
Available at cosmetic clinics across Mumbai, Delhi and Bengaluru.
Facial Hair Transplants
Struggling to turn your peach fuzz into an actual beard? Thanks to ‘hair surgeons’, you can now opt for this popular treatment which allows you to “grow” facial hair.
The procedure involves surgically removing single hair follicles from the back of the head (where they grow the thickest), and giving them a new home in your beard region for a stronger, manlier look. The treatment doesn’t come cheap though; starting at Rs 25,000 for a simple ‘stache to a staggering Rs 1 lakh for the full beard.
There’s a sucker born every minute for this skin treatment. Also known as the ‘Kim Kardashian Facial’, the Vampire Facelift aka Platelet Rich Plasma Therapy involves a lot of needles and your face being smeared in, and then injected with, your own blood. Promoters call it a ‘natural’ way to get rid of premature smile lines and dark bags under the eyes.
Pros: One step closer to eternal youth
The strangest request of them all
“We’ve been getting an increasing number of men coming in, asking for laser hair removal from their balls or the Brazilian laser hair removal.” Lasering their balls for smoother sacks, and sloughing off dead skin from their faces with collagen-stimulating lasers.
And while you’re scratching your own God-given beard at all this; men everywhere, from Durban to Delhi, are also getting facial hair transplants for denser, pro-grade upper-lip bristles. Because the power of a full tuft of fur knows no bounds.
Welcome to the brave new world of male beauty, gentlemen.
Based on conversations with Dr Kiran Lohia of Lumiere Dermatology and a Delhi-based cosmetic dermatologist who chooses to remain anonymous.