Let Go Of Control To Understand Change

Have you ever felt like you had things all planned out, like a personal timeline for your life? When I am 45, I will have 2 kids, a happy marriage, a stunning home, career or I would be globetrotting, financially secure etc. Whatever your picture is, we all have that picture in our mind on how things would evolve.

Then you get to 45, you wait for that moment which you probably waited for all your life, “everything I planned is on track” moment …. only to realise it’s not how you envisaged it.

understanding change

Does this sound familiar? You look around many received their handbook for life, except you? That feeling you longed for “I actually made it all happen” feeling was more like “what the hell happened” I think many of us are there, we all had this vision of a full self but somehow we lost the roadmap.

In August last year, I realised that all this planning and being at certain points were actually not so important when you realise life is a mere two secs of breath. I felt as if I was thrown more curve balls than I could deal with, the unknowns stacked up and I was angry.

This anger lasted until December 2016. I took a time-out in December. I stayed alone for 2 weeks, cut of contact with the world, only communicated when I wanted too, left my home out of utmost necessity. I did a 360 review of my life. It was the most liberating, I then realised that I was chasing things all my life which I had zero control over – fate plays wicked games, the universe tests you all the time, and people well, people will always be the biggest challenge.

So I just stopped, and let go of

My past – I did not live there anymore, people/things which I lost for whatever reasons, was meant to be. My future which I have no control over. In order to be happy and content in whatever life threw at me, I had to be present in my PRESENT! There is no way you can go back and fix the past. What’s meant to happen will happen, all I have is today, today renews our faith in starting from scratch all over again.

We get to reinvent ourselves daily, we get to dump what isn’t working, and we get to design our self-daily. We get to also choose to be negative or to take life by the scruff; swing it around until it’s dizzy, hop on and enjoy the ride. This is how we are meant to be. I regret a few things in my life, TIME wasted on people or things which don’t matter in the bigger scheme of my LIFE. I regret not taking opportunities which presented itself due to fear.

We are all wired to want to control our environment. Once we let go of control, we are able to understand that change is a constant part of life. We are imperfect beings even though we strive for perfection. When you get to a point when you realise your biggest imperfections are your greatest gifts that is the point of liberation. I changed last year and I went back to the ‘School of Life’ to re-learn some lessons.

One of the most important lessons I learnt was Self Appreciation.

I learned how to acknowledge myself, to embrace, to keep track of the things I am most proud of, the good choices I have made, my successes. When I need humbling, I review my failures because it helps me grow and refocus. I stopped waiting for things to happen, and made them happen. I let go of the ideal of “arrival place” which I had created for myself.

There is a beginning (birth) and an end (death) everything in-between is fair game, filled with choices; possibilities. How you deal with it, is solely up to you!


About Saffiya Ismail

Born in Pietermaritzburg, she now resides in Johannesburg and says her most important role in life is being a mother. Saffiya is a freelance writer. A contributing author in “Riding the Samoosa Express” (Anthology launched 21st March 2015). With a second chapter submitted for the next book, Saffiya says her passion is writing.

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