long distance relationships

Ten Lessons From A Long Distance Relationship

Long distance relationships can be hard but they teach you a lot more than being together ever will.

So what if you are not making memories together, as someone who has been in a long distance relationship, I can vouch for the fact that these are the lessons you learn when you are in one:

1. Patience

There are bound to be days when you will doubt yourself, doubt your partner and even doubt the whole existence of this relationship! But you decided to be in an LDR because you know your partner is worth it, and with the virtue of time, your relationship will teach you some solid art of patience.

2. Independence

Often in relationships, we tend to become codependent and after a point lose a sense of self and work in accordance of your partner or always lay back on them! But what if you are in different time zones, he is asleep and you are at work! Well, so you fight your own battles and suck up a bad day at work and that my friend is true independence.

3. True Meaning Of Love

When you are in an LDR, you really have nowhere to go! Be it after a fight or when you are missing your better half. In the process, you make your own definition of love.

Love is when he climbs up a tank to get the best signal and talk to you, love is when after a hard day of work you try to look your prettiest best for the video call with him! Love is when see couples dancing at a party and all you can think about is him! (See what I mean by making your own definitions of love)

4. Priorities

There will be times when your job takes precedence, when a friend’s wedding is the most important thing on your mind or when planning your dad’s 50th leaves you with little else to think about anything else. But that doesn’t mean you don’t love your partner. These are short term, your love is long term. Try not to feel too guilty and include your partner in things as much as you can.

5. Social Media Pro! 

You will become a pro at every social media platform that will help you and your BAE connect. Be it free calls on WhatsApp, vines or juggling between Facebook video and skype. You can be the ultimate judge of which is the best platform for what.

6. Abstinence

The art of living the celibate life of a monk is an underrated one. While there may not be many positives to it, you sure as hell learn how to on your focus on your primary life. You will miss it doubtless and will work together to learn of creative ways to umm bring that joy! *wink* *wink*

7. Standing up for them 

Now since your partner has not been around much, your friends and family do not know much about them. Hence, to save them from any judgments, you keep all debates, arguments and disagreements to yourself. You will also understand what it is like to support one another even if you don’t agree.

8. Essay Writing master 

Since you are not physically there to express yourself, telephone conversations could be confusing and text messages can be VERY-VERY misleading. Then this very confusion will be followed up by a lengthy explanation on text!

In a fight, you will use words that convey your point, without hurting your partner, cuz’ they are already stressed enough. Get ready to brush up your essay writing skills you guys!

9. Virtual PDA

All those couples you judged for flooding your timeline with mushy posts, you will suddenly start to empathise with them. Because you and your partner are not together and cannot get cosy on a weekend, watching a romantic comedy. The only way to express your love and affection will be through- #ManCrushMonday and #WomenCrushWednesday posts online.

10. Perspective

There will be days when everything will seem pointless and life will lose all excitement. Those are the days you will tell yourself, that yes, things could be infinitely better if your partner were there with you, but then things could be infinitely worse too. You are with the love of your life, he wants to make it work just as much as you do, and he too can’t wait for the next time you see each other. That’s more than enough and it calls for truckloads of gratitude.

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Report and write stories for It is our ambitious goal to cover issues/events/news concerning South Africa and the diaspora.