If the words ‘tantric sex’ pops images of a wild mystical experience with some voodoo magic to with it or super-slow motion pleasure making that goes on hours, well that’s just the imagery that pop culture has ingrained in your mind!
People like Sting and his wife Trudie Styler, who became mascots of sorts of this mythical form of sexuality added more vivid imagery to an already misinterpreted ideology.
In fact, Trudie went on to brag about her husband at one point claiming that her husband could make love for more than 5 hours at a stretch! When all tantric gurus were trying to tell us was about how we can reach a more heightened form of ecstasy.
What is Tantric sex?
Deep-rooted in the Eastern form of making love, originating out of India, Tantric sex is a form that has been practised for more than 5,000 years in the east. It emerged as a rebellion against religion, which chastised sexuality in order to reach a state of enlightenment. The idea was to create a heightened state of intimacy by creating a deep connection with your partner, unlike western culture where an orgasm is an ultimate objective. It’s about developing a mind-body connection with your partner.
Does that mean it increases your staying power?
Unlike what popular culture wants you to believe, tantric sex is not about doing for hours till you completely run out of gas! The idea is to increase the increase the intensity between you and your partner while enhancing the actual experience of the act. And while the technique might prolong the act naturally, it’s more to do with the fact that you’re too busy enjoying the process and not obsessing over your physical prowess.
Why should you give tantric sex a go if you haven’t already?
The implications of performing tantric sex can go way beyond the bedroom. Since you tap into your deepest states of consciousness and subconsciousness, the intense focus and concentration you get into during the process spill into other areas of your life as well. Not only does it deepen the connection with your partner it also helps people with sexual problems. It can be useful in tackling conditions that are caused by stress or anxiety like hypoactive sexual desire disorder, erectile dysfunction.
Although there are different rituals and procedures involved in the process of having tantric sex, here are some simple steps you can take towards developing the connection that tantric love making advocates:
Communicate with your partner at all levels
Whether it’s expressing your desires openly with your partner outside the bedroom or breathing with them while you’re in the act and exchanging words of intimacy, don’t hold back from the fear of how you may be perceived.
Create a sexually charged environment
Use candles, soft bedding, wine, essential oils and whatever else you can think of to arouse your senses. Experiment with techniques like aromatherapy if that helps and visualise sex as a sacred activity.
Massage your way into the act
Whether it’s a full-body massage or just gentle strokes along the body the pleasures of a massage last well after the act of having sex; making the experiencing much more fulfilling.
Synchronise your breath for an even better flow of sexual energy
Breathing energises you; much like it does in yoga. Breathe along with your partner to match his/her pace. Syncing your breath with theirs allows you form an even better energetic connect.
Use his/her reaction as a clue and respond accordingly
Repetitive movements can create monotony and cause boredom. Instead, try and switch things up to see how your partner reacts. This keeps both partners curious and excited due to the uncertainty of not knowing what’s coming next.
Maintain eye contact as much as possible
Eye contact is the window into another person’s soul. Staring into his/her eyes and exchanging a few intimate words with each other, goes a long way in deepening your connection even after the act far beyond the bedroom.
Use subtle noises as another form of communication
We evolved from the animal kingdom. So it is only natural for you to make noises/sounds or other physical gestures to express what you are feeling to your partner. Avoid holding back so as this is a powerful way to connect with your partner during the act.