This is Kareena Kapoor Khan.
She is an acclaimed actor who’s good at her job.
But, that apart, she has green eyes. And FAIR, glowing skin. Now, as a conditioned Indian, you are lulled into a web of hypnotic cues. These cues will make you crave for a glimpse into her personal life. The star-spangled, intensely personal life of this fair-skinned, green-eyed movie star.
Her photos will draw you in, whether she’s donning a Manish Malhotra gown or lounging in clothes that were in trend when Indira Gandhi was Prime Minister. When it comes to her life, the settings are, by default, public.
Thus, let the chips fall, as the Peeping Toms may.
Here, her green-coloured eyes are averting your gaze. Eureka! That draws you in further. Prohibition has always had its own sweet charm. You’re wondering if she’s wearing Saif’s jacket. It matters. You don’t quite know how, but right at this moment, it does.
At this point, you don’t know where she is headed. You don’t care if she is ready for the paparazzi or not. The day has been tiring. You don’t want to think about work, life or sordid bills. Just like ours, your eyes too, fish out the ever-alluring, star-spangled life. They yank themselves open and come alive, living an urban fairy-tale through this picture. Meanwhile, you run a search on Amazon for Denim jackets.
Then, you heave a sigh of exhaustion and turn to your friend to discuss the present socio-economic scenario. This country might have given up on politicians, but it can never give up on glamour. Especially when it has aspiration in tow.
Then, you get back to your screen. Now that you have seen the photo where she is just about to get out of her car, your indulgent eyes are craving for closure. You need more. How can a photograph just leave you in the lurch?
So here is Kareena Kapoor, with both legs out of the car. In all her resplendent glory.
Spot the difference.
If you still aren’t feeling satisfied, we have more. Loads of them. But, the narrative takes a surprising turn.
She passes you by. She looks over her shoulder. She turns to face you.
She swerves to the right and makes a beeline for a door. Just like that, she disappears. You look for more photographs, but you don’t find them. You run a search on Google, but you don’t find them. By this point, your eyes have started twitching. You are left restless and irritable.
Well, here’s one more. Just to get that twitching to go.
That’s it, though.
We can’t help but put this to an abrupt halt. We’ll tell you why. It is because it isn’t a story. There is no narrative. It isn’t a favourite movie of yours. The rising action doesn’t lead to a climax and then a revelation.
This is her life. Off-screen.
And she would, despite our best efforts, like some privacy.