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Today I am wise, so I am changing myself

Admittedly, I sort of dragged my feet when thinking about writing this article. Yet once I started writing the word count quickly rose at a steady pace.

It’s actually a great way to reconcile all that transpired during the year; even if you are not a writer, just pick a time and a quiet space before the New Year starts and reflect. It’s brilliant eye opener when you look back over the distance you’ve come.

At the end of 2016 there was a dark cloud hanging over me just waiting to drench me. So I made sure I carried my colourful umbrella everywhere, until that cloud disappeared. I recall saying I just want a calm 2017.

So 2017 has been a mixture of amazing, crazy, beautiful moments sprinkled with life lessons as always, and a few storms. CALM did not come at a snap of my fingers, it’s still a work in progress. 2017 similar to 2016 continues with profound appreciation for what is. I find that I have been transformed by happenings and events, my soul is still being steered to do things which contribute more to life for the sheer joy of it.

Deep Dive into 2017

For CALM to enter my life, I had to let go of a few things which stalked me for a while.

My little inner voice loudly conquered the darkness within. When that happened I was able to dance in the light. I stopped looking back at missed opportunities; sometimes not every opportunity is made for me. I forgave wholeheartedly.

I met some amazing people during this year, many had a deep, significant and meaningful impact on me; their experiences and insights allowed me to become a better version of myself. As much as I enjoy “peopling” I mastered the art flying solo. I distanced myself from other people’s “drama”.

It sounds so very selfish, you would be 100% correct in thinking that I am.

Saying no became easy, actually easier than I thought. I became selfish with my time, I refused unnecessary emotional clutter. I still remained sympathetic and empathetic to happenings, but I could disconnect and retreat when I wanted too. That became my vantage point. This year has also been a time for me settling into being alone. I miss companionship, but not at the risk of my sanity. This allowed me to become more conscientious of who I let into my space. During my reflections, my well-being was not something to get to, rather something based on a more profound awareness of who I really am and what life is really for.

Blood through my Veins  became one of my biggest eye-openers for 2017

I realized that my body can deceive me. You can have a ticking time bomb flowing through your veins and not even know it. So my health scare mid-November made me stop and reassess my lack of judgement (read my article: Turning Point).

Suddenly I went from laughing at the casualty coctor to now being on chronic medication for a condition I did not know I even had. What this scare did do for me is “slapping me” into taking my red flags with my body seriously, your body does give you signals and when you ignore it, the results can be life threatening.

As 2018 hovers just around the corner. I don’t know what it has in-store. I guess like every year I simply pray that this year will be kind to me.

I am really excited for 2018, and why shouldn’t I be …. I get to spin around on this planet once more, an entirely brand new, totally fresh, unspoiled, and completely free New Year.

In my Oprah voice

“You get a new year! And you get a new year! And YOU get a new year! And YOU get a new year!”

Like every other year on the 1st of January 2018 I will rise and say,“Dear God, maybe this year I’m finally gonna make sense of all of this ….. I have hope this is going to be the best year ever” Just that sense of hope is priceless.

Love and Noor (Light), Saffiya Ismail Cassim

“Yesterday I was clever, so I wanted to change the world. Today, I am wise, so I am changing myself.” – Rumi

About Saffiya Ismail

Born in Pietermaritzburg, she now resides in Johannesburg and says her most important role in life is being a mother. Saffiya is a freelance writer. A contributing author in “Riding the Samoosa Express” (Anthology launched 21st March 2015). With a second chapter submitted for the next book, Saffiya says her passion is writing.

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