Have you ever gone on a blind date where, within the first 5 minutes, the lady receives a call from a hospital or an urgent WhatsApp from her suicidal friend – both situations eliciting a speedy response from this angel of humanity, the long lost sister of Atlas, who takes the burden of the world on her shoulders, leaving you high and dry at the pub?
If yes, then it’s just one of those cases where a blind-date turned judge-jury-executioner rolled into one, walked out on you using one of the million tricks she has learnt through advisors.
Today, the number of write-ups and tips for women on the emotional, psychological and fatal dangers of blind-dating are available by the dozen. And one question that my friends (needless to add, male friends) have often pondered upon is this: “Has anyone ever bothered to advise men on how to escape a bad blind-date?
Are bad blind-dates only a woman’s nightmare? Has anyone spared a thought for what men stuck with blind date go through?”
I couldn’t agree with them more as we sat for a drink at the pub. With every sip that went in, their pent-up feelings rose to the surface. “Considering the skewed female/male ratio of 946/1,000, there are more tips than there are women out there just as there are always more cushions then sofas in their houses,” one of them said.
“Considering, we live in a world of feminists, feminazis, bridezillas, besides other not-so-desirable women, why are there so few articles or Agony Uncles to advise us (men) on how to wriggle out of murky waters?” another complained.
“If this is the age of equality, then why are there such limited remedies for men? After all, there are enough women who dress badly, smell like kitchen, speak loudly, dress garishly or are disgustingly starved (like models) or visibly over-weight like Kate Winslet whom one meets for blind-dates?” came another shot from a close friend, who had apparently been traumatised by the experience.
As woeful stories poured out from all quarters that evening, I realised what a gamble blind dates can be for both sides. But from the bits and pieces of information I gathered from my group, I understood that to be fair to them, they also deserved to be “extensively advised” on how to deal with bad blind dates. In my opinion, it is the need of the hour to have ubiquitous “Tips for Men to Deal with Blind Dates” instead of so few out there. My male fraternity needs it as much as women do.
This is what my friend Ajay, who recently had a series of bad blind dates, had to say: “It’s crazy how unprepared you feel when you find yourself in a blind-date-going-bad situation. Some of them have only their ex-boyfriends to discuss or the other women in the vicinity who are predictably fat, poorly dressed and wearing cheap make-up. What can a hapless man do in such a situation?”
Should he display lack of chivalry and stage a walk-out, or should he go on a dharna or give her a piece of his mind and leave her to pay the bill?
As they kept discussing the pros and cons of the above-mentioned options, I realised that for all the chatter of this being a man’s world, men really had no one to go to for answers – except friends like us, which, in a way, is like blind leading the blind.
But the fact is, men too need a long list of tips on ‘how to walk out’ of a bad blind date. But then, how come not many out there are supplying those? And so, I couldn’t help but ask my friends – “So what is it that makes men sit through their blind dates’ dissing session, be the shoulder to cry on when they are crying about their ex-boyfriends and how good he was? Why couldn’t you all just make excuses and leave – the way they do all the time?”
And that’s when the coin dropped. From what I could gather from my friends was that – even though there might be those countless websites that bash men left, right and centre, and sure, there might be men like that, but I found that at least my friends aren’t one of them since it broke their heart to walk out of a bad date with no ado.
And no, before you jump to flimsy conclusions – it’s not because they are forever desperate for female company, no matter how loud or chatterbox she is. As they sighed and looked around for pretty things, they said – for all their faults and idiosyncrasies – women were women and everything about them was what made them special and worth taking chances for.
That’s when I realised that for all the cribbing, blind dates were not going anywhere as long as there were men like my friends, who will never drop the bad date like a hot potato. And truth be told, it’s not because they are desperate, shallow, lazy or lonely, but because no matter what, they love women anyway – just the way they are. Sigh!
Written by Anand Sharma | Mumbai | Indian Express