#Discuss: A Coloured woman’s dilemma of dating an Indian guy

Dating across the racial line for South African Indians has always been a talking or should we say tea time gossip for the Indian family. 

To date outside your race is as taboo as being gay and it takes a significant amount of time for families to get their shit together to accept their son or daughters choice of a life partner. You could shift some of the blame for this retro train-of-thought to apartheid but majority of the fault is in the culture of Indians that’s developed. 

We came across a blog discussion by the Coloured community on their perceptions of being in relationships with Indian men. Here’s what started the discussion on

Is it because I am fair with some Indian features? Is it because I can cook? Or is it because I’m ‘Coloured’?

I am ‘Coloured’ therefore I have of culture within me. I am proud of it. I have 2 ex boyfriend’s who are Indian. One was very short term, and the other was for a year.

The first one; well it ended because he only wanted one thing that it seems most Indian men think only ‘Coloured’ woman can give them, he even lied about his age to get with me. The second one well I’m still trying to figure him out, we’ve been apart for 7 months now, he claims to still be in love with me but I’ve never met he’s parents, never been to he’s hometown and if we were to get married expects me to change my religion to Hinduism.

My point is, why start the relationship to begin with? Why come with me to church and expect me to change my religion for the sake of getting married and live happily ever after? What do you see me for? What do you want from me? Why pursue me just to break my heart?

He’s a sweet guy, I give him that, respectful to a woman but I’m being realistic in that it won’t get anywhere, my kids and I cannot go through that aimlessness. For what! Not only that the looks you get, the remarks etc….and every ‘Coloured’ guy that see’s you with an Indian guy wants to get the crew together and beat him up for taking one of their stekkie’s. What is it? Tell me? Someone shed some light???

Here’s some of the views from the community that replied to the thread:

The views expressed above are the author’s own with exception to the discussion from the credited source. Indian Spice neither endorses nor is responsible for the same.


About Indianspice Staff Reporter

Report and write stories for It is our ambitious goal to cover issues/events/news concerning South Africa and the diaspora.

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