My partner has a very small penis. I can barely feel it when he inserts it inside me. I often end up without an orgasm. This is affecting our relationship. I don’t fight with him in bed because I don’t want to embarrass him, but my frustration shows in different ways. I get angry at other things and also feel attracted to other men and imagine them satisfying me when I masturbate. I don’t want it to get worse. I love him. Please help.
If you have any problems, doubts or queries regarding sex, sexuality or your relationship, which you can’t seem to deal with, or need some advice, answers or just someone to hear you out – write in to Harish Iyer, and he’ll try and ‘sexolve’ it for you. Drop in a mail to firstname.lastname@example.org
Dear Big Issue,
This is personal and you shared it with me – thank you for your trust.
At the outset, I should confess and seek your pardon – because I couldn’t understand your sex/gender from your name –however, irrespective, I hope my response is fitting.
Sexual challenges are best when addressed with your partner. I would suggest that you discuss this with him, openly. Ensure that you are not rude or insulting, but compassionate and understanding in your interaction when you address this.
The only way through this issue is through this issue. Take him through your feelings. He is not equipped to read your mind.
There is nothing that cannot be solved. Please visit a sexologist and explain your challenge to them. They can examine the penis and see if it is really so small that it is a cause of worry. I can say though that often sex can be satisfactory even when a penis is considered small.
There are positions and techniques that will make you feel satisfied irrespective of the size of the penis.
So I urge you to learn more. I urge you to open up to your partner. It would be best if you visit a sexologist.
P.S. Keep the faith.
(The text and the location has been edited to protect the identity of the people. You can send in your questions email@example.com.)
(Harish Iyer is an equal rights activist working for the rights of the LGBT community, women, children and animals.)
Follow The Quint Sexolve section for more stories.